I Hate Cars…even the non-animated ones

It all started with digging out the front garden.  Weeds had taken over, namely Torpedo Grass (you can read about that battle here), and Sarah demanded a change.  Part of that change involved decorative stones. 

This is a car, therefore, it and I will not get along.

Two types of stones were required in the makeover.  Porous lava rocks, which, despite having the ability to float, somewhat, the bags were quite heavy.  Especially after 20(!) bags of them.  It also required some wall-type stones.  You know the kind, the ones look like bricks but are meant to be pretty.  Well, we loaded those bad boys into my 2007 Chevy Malibu, and off we went.

Something was wrong, though.  The back end of my car, under all the weight, wiggled side to side.   And when driving at speed on the interstate from Lowes Hardware, the car was downright scary to drive.  I just hope Sarah couldn’t tell how nervous I was.  She could tell the car was not right, and ordered me to take it to the mechanic.

When it comes to cars, I’m not a genius.  I’m smart enough to buy a book and teach myself to change the spark plugs, but that’s about the extent of it.  But, sadly, I’m an automotive optimist.  Yes, sir, I believe that if you hear a noise, it will eventually go away.  If it persists, then your stereo is not up loud enough.  Sarah, however, is not.  So I followed her directions, but only after a brief fight.  It kind of went like this:

Sarah: Take your car to the garage.  Let them see what the problem is?

Donald:  (not looking up from cell phone) Nah, I’m sure it’s fine.

Sarah:  (sternly) If you don’t fix it, I will NOT get back in that car.

Donald:  (eyes lighting up, looking up to, smiling, to Sarah) Sounds like a win-win situation then.

Sarah:  (again, sternly…and very unhappy) Am I laughing?

Donald:  OK, I’ll take it tomorrow. (Bottom lip sticks out)

So, I took it to Sears, mostly because I have no idea who else to take it to.  I have tried to go to the smaller mechanics, and they kind of just laugh at me.  As if I cannot be a man unless I know how to take apart a carburetor.  Sears, however, makes me feel like they see an ATM when I walk around the corner.  I can hear it, too (Cha-ching, Cha-ching).

So yeah, $427 later, and two hours of my time, I now have a car that still vibrates.  They replaced the back end shocks and the tie-rod front something or other.  It doesn’t make a horrible clicking noise anymore but it still wobbles down the road.  And now that the city decided to pave over a section of road near our house, the wobbling is FAR more noticeable.

Today, at the insistence of a certain woman who I will not name in public (psst…it’s Sarah), I took the car to a different shop.  Tire Kingdom in Ocean Springs, to be exact.  It took them two hours, but now it works like  a champ with no vibration.  Apparently the tires had thrown some weights and were out of balance.  The best part of the whole deal…they didn’t charge me a dime.  When the mechanic told me there was no charge, I may have squealed in glee and tried to hug him.  Probably not the nest thing for a guy to do to a mechanic, but you know…free is free, mo-fos.

Oh…and Sarah is riding in the car again.