Thursday, July 21, 2011

Plastic Surgery Gift Cards????

Yesterday I posted on Facebook that I had seen an advert for gift cards for plastic surgery. My immediate reaction was that I would be mortally offended if someone got me one of these.......after all - who the hell are you to be pointing out all of my imperfections!!!

However, I was astounded by the responses to this. Several people commented "I want one of these"! Others private messaged me asking for more details. Seriously.....what is wrong with just being the way you are?

Don't get me wrong - we all have areas of our bodies that are cause for some level of dissatisfaction.

Apparently my own rear end is disproportionately large when compared to my waistline. This makes buying 'off the peg' clothes a little difficult.........whoever came up with those 'boyfriend cut' jeans.....I LOVE YOU. But then, J-Lo has a good sized derriere also, and the world seems to be obsessed with hers!

Equally, it would be nice if my boobs had remained in the same position they started out at 20 something years back. But isn't that what wonder bra's are for? Besides, most men really aren't that concerned by it. My husband will tell you that it doesn't matter whether they look 'wall eyed', 'cross eyed' or happen to be examining the floor around your feet as you go about your daily life.......a boob is a boob - a good source of fun and entertainment for any guy, no matter what shape or size they happen to be!

Yes, most men will ogle the beautiful blonde walking down the street with the most perfect cleavage on display for the world to see. They will also spend time examining the equally stunning brunette with legs up to her armpits and not a spot of cellulite in site. They are human. Perfect looks good, but do they really want a Barbie doll attached to their arm??? Probably not......not long term anyways.......too high maintenance and way too expensive!

Besides, if you begin to travel down that long road of 'fixing' what wasn't broken to start with - where do you stop???

I may be able to have my 'thighs like tree trunks' turned into a nice set of slender, well toned pins, but it's not gonna remove the cellulite from my arse (ass!). Then surely if I get the bottom fixed, my waist will look disproportionately chunky. Then if I have the perfect waistline, complete with silicon implants designed to replicate a six-pack, won't there be less body mass helping to hold my boobs up? And, with the boobs any twenty year old would die for.....what am I gonna do with the wrinkles on my face?? will never end!!! And what if they screw something up along the way?? I don't want to be one of those people whose lips got sooooo inflated that it looked as if someone punched her in the mouth........nor do I want to have that 'permanently suprised' look on my face. Equally, I don't want to turn into little miss 'oh - so - beautiful - but - god - what - a - bitch' on account of the fact that I spend my days fighting the unwanted attentions of the male species and trying not to get killed or maimed by hundreds of insanely jealous females.


I will keep my 'thunder thighs'. I will keep the dimples in my oversized butt cheeks. And I will keep my not-so-perky breasts (No need for any gift cards in this household!!). Hopefully my personality will make up for all of my physical imperfections!

Personality transplant anyone????


jody said...

now u put it like that, i think i have changed my mind, lol

kelly said...

ye ok me to lol, the cost would be non stop but a girl can dream lol

Kirsten said...

I've always loved you just the way you are... especially in school when you bleached your hair and wore more mascara over a week than I ever have in my life!!!! I hated going out with you cos you always got the boys.... and I had to sit and wait. Seriously though you are spot on always!!!

Donald Allen said...

@Kirsten...Oh really? Did she now? What else? lol

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