It's definitely Monday.......

I don't know why it is, but Monday's are always awful, regardless of whether It's the first day back at work after a weekend off, or not.

I was hoping to have a nice lay in today, as I don't have to be at work until 2pm. Then I was going to potter round the house for a couple of hours, catching up with a little housework, before heading out of the door.

No such luck!

Millie (my 'not so adorable' cocker-poo) decided that 6am was the perfect time for
me to get out of bed, to take her and her brother for a walk. Try as I might to ignore the whining and scratching at the bedroom door, a loud bang, followed by the sound of something being dragged across the floor had me dashing into the lounge at 06:03. There, I found my other pooch (Tyler) trotting round the place with his leash hanging from his mouth and tail wagging at a rapid rate. Great.

I really want to say "screw it.....the husband can walk them tonight when he gets home from work", but I know from experience that this probably won't happen. They didn't get a walk yesterday, and if I wait til later, it will be far too hot to take them anywhere.

So, after a quick coffee, the clothes were on, leashes were attached to the dogs, and we were out of the door and on our way.

I always take the same route in the summer. You have to be careful where you go in our area because other dog owners think it's OK to just kick their dogs out of the front door on a morning and leave them to their own devices. Tyler has already had to have his skin stapled back together, after a boxer dog decided he was breakfast and I definitely don't want a repeat of that!

So I take my usually route around the area, expecting nothing of significance to happen.

It's quiet at this time of day. As I walk, I am enjoying watching birds playing in the water being sprayed around by someones sprinkler system and seeing the array of colourful blooms in the flowerbeds.

Suddenly, however, I find myself being yanked off to the left. The darn dogs have spotted a squirrel in someones yard and are determined to get it. I am trying to hold them back, but they have already jumped the ditch and I am losing my balance.

In the struggle, my flip-flop gets caught on something.

That's it.....I lose my footing completely and end up half upside down in said ditch, minus my shoe and no longer holding onto the dogs.

Usually when the dogs are not leashed, they both go bolting off to some unknown destination, in search of some unknown 'prize'. Today however, they hear me scream as I fall and think it's a game, so both jump on top of me as I am trying to regain some composure, get myself back into an upright position and retrieve my flip-flop. Oh, the joy!!!

I grab their leashes, then clamber back out of the ditch. Both are still excitedly jumping up my legs..........then things went from bad to worse.

Something squelched under my bare foot. I close my eyes for a second, not daring to look down, but there is no mistaking that smell!

CRAP!.........literally.........all over my foot and in between my toes.........friggin awesome!

I think I am gonna be sick.

I am still half a mile away from home.

Trying to be positive, I think to myself that I am lucky it's so early and nobody is around to witness my unfortunate demise.

Then I heard it.........

"Are you OK?.........You can use the hosepipe if you need to clean yourself up?". Even more friggin awesome!!!

I turn round to face the man who is very obviously trying so hard not to laugh out loud.

It just keeps getting better and better. I am blushing so much, my face feels like it is on fire, but what option do I have? I can't very well hobble off home with poop all over my foot.

So I clean myself up with the hose. Thank the man, whilst avoiding any eye contact what so ever, re-attach flip-flop to foot, then force the dogs to run all the way home.

It is definitely Monday!

And to my darling Husband..........you are definitely walking the dogs tomorrow and don't think for a single minute that I will let you get out of it this time!!!!