Thursday, July 14, 2011

Why is everyone born in the summer??

I have a package sitting on the sofa.  It's a birthday present that has been staring at me for nearly two weeks.  My brother, who has been ever so patient, is none the wiser.  He just thinks I am a bad brother.  He's probably right.

The cake is a lie.
 (Wikimedia Commons)
Several members of my family, including me, have our birthdays in the summer.  Not really lumped together, we're a smattering of small holidays spread throughout the non-Christmas months.  And that makes it unfortunate.
After Christmas, it's a hop to each birthday, anniversary, then Mother's and Father's Day, several more birthdays, and, look, we're back to Christmas again.

Our monthly budget now has to reflect gift buying.  Sometimes it's a card, other times a gift card, and still other times flowers.  One constant, though, is that it consistently costs us something.

I think I have a solution.  I propose that all birthdays be lumped together on December 27th and we will call it Birth Day.  Christmas falls on the 25th, of course, and for the English/Canadian/Australian readers I'll give you folks the 26th for Boxing Day, despite the fact that no one really seems to know what that day is nor can two people give me the same story for it.  That leaves the 27th.  Many people already have that day or even the week off, so there's no real cost to businesses.

I think the potential is huge.  Think of all the promotional stuff companies could do for the After-After-After holiday sales.  That's like 27,000% below retail price if you figure 30x30x30.  Oh and I already have a card written:
Happy Birthday.
You were born.
And now you're still alive.
Well Done!

See?  Lighthearted and makes people happy.  And, as a bonus, you get to do all of your shopping at the same time.  Instead of buying 3 gifts across the year (Christmas, Birthday and Father's/Mother's Day), you can buy one "big" present.  Like a gift card that is larger than normal Christmas.  Or instead of a bunch of cards, just buy one (ideally that one I wrote) and then inside you can say "Merry Christmas and Happy Boxing Day, too!"

To my brother Jonathan:  you see, I did put a lot of thought into your present.  Sadly it was how to combine it with another present.  That said, I'll put your box in the mail tomorrow.  I think you'll like has money in it!

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